lets see uh mind is at it again no pen to write out all of those lugubrious thoughts no patience i have no patience for anything attention span nonexistent. who else wants to know that someone really cares?
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huh
we know not to act normal around you's as a a way to get by.... is folly by sin why hassle when you can tassel through the beads of non-committal nonchalance hi ho do you act out of your own will cheerio mercutio never had a sharper tongue then the speakers of the truth in this day and age. a young lover of freedom lost on the way towards hope came and gave me a long stare i saw in their soul the desire for what I had for what I had to give so of course i have to stick around true desire is rare rare, oh so rare, indeed. bottle up and deny your needs when its full? break it take yourself wrap yourself in tinfoil rearrange gasoline to fit your body put yourself in the fetal position think of a time when you felt your own worth and pull the flame out of the lighter's smoke // PSHAH PSHAH PSHAH PSHAH i dont get u bro but imma extend this pretended understanding across the table over to you and hope u buy it theres no denying that all of the lost souls are lost on purpose of the...
im starting to wonderwhere the point in all of this lies? what is that one point, where ill cross it and be like "yeah this is it" "ivemade it" "im making it" "im making an impact" "i am not isolated and cut off from all of humanity" "i can make an impression with form" "i can creatge an impression with form" "i can love, with feeling" i can express who i am, without hesitation, or delay. I can express who i am, without any time of mortification or embarassment. who am i why do i need validation? why cant i validate myself, and enjoy the process? where is my process? where is the space to enjoy my process? if you didnt knew me would you love me the same? why am i so moody? and anti-social? and i have "son of a gun" rolling through my head all of tghe time why do i feel like i have to "be somebody" or "something" why do i have such a pressing need for attention? why do i need ...
there is no rush
when is the time? now is, i guess i dont know but i do know confusion is a sin you need to get clear but are sins even real? does wrong truly exist? i dont even know anymore im just venting with a self impose burden of having a heightened sense of self-importance, purportedly due to the deep feelings of inferiority that are slowly but surely drifting away..... i dont care if others can or can't, i wlll i have to express it, it has to be expressed, it cannot be any other way, and is that heightened sense of self-importance, or is that self-respect? i care to find out i dont know is a cop-out, and a defensive response so is i dont care and "maybe"" maybe is cool its a euphemism for im unsure him maybe im unsure tooo unsure maybe ill die tomorrow maybe the next day? the next year? who knows theres no time limit on these types of things there is no rush supposedly. but i used to think that once ive made it, then life will start BUT LIFE IS RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOWWWWWWWWW...
Be mindful
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shits always happening ok so deal with it get over it let go and move on cuz shit is always happening whether u like it or not whether u "deserve" it, or not but i bet for every million seconds we spend on complaining and negativity, there is one second, one second of contemplation in the mystery and wondrous awe...... a pondering and a quick but minute glance at what we call..... Life! it is not what you think it is never what you think it seems but that moment of peace of silence of inner stillness that one moment destroys every single notion of all the other moments combined and its your job to help out the demolition crew you see i am jackshit, dipshit #1 i cannot complain, for i have caused more pain than i can remember but through it all, i have learned alot and now im coming back in this lifetime, to tell you, that the chief demolisher of bullshit mind-control is here, back at it again and this time, i will not have to use my usual covert methods of espionage, sabat...
hmmmm primitives
"Their Eyes Rang of Hollow Terror" we live in a world of pots and pans, and everybody is desperately trying to get their own llid. we sadly are unfortunately programmed to believe that our world is outside of our reach. Our dreams, well t of them are inevitable our inncocence was a forgone conclusion, everybody's gotta pay their taxes, and being care-free is a hidden fee no one wants to pay. u turn off your imagination for good the day you get a secure living in this country the poltergeist of fear is ever silently looming, like a spectre, a long lost medallion of courage gets swallowed up whole in the perilous sea of self-pity and doubt, the pirahnnas of putrefaction gnawing down whole thoughts of prosperity, forming the resistance before the birthing of a known truth, the new world. energies subtly bidding their time, waiting for their souls to be fed on by a higher order of things maybe being a pig wasnt a bad thing after all, huh, Dorian? interweaving and interpenetr...
words are your world.
come to think of it, is there an even more effective mode of human existance, then spending your wee hours in the morning, waking up, and getting right down to writing. i love writing i guess eww i hate admitting things but one thing i must admit is that there is an unshakable wavelength based around human thought that is shared by all of those inhabiting a human body that allows us to turn vibrations into noise noise into sound sound into meaning pleasures, difficulties, transcendence, dreams, money, sex, power praise, buildings, towers, empires, countries, clans, order words are how we order things words are the blueprints of our minds you can tell everything about a man by the words he uses how he expresses them and his response to the inevitable unabiding "no" i feel as if the greatest piece of advice i have received recently is that words are the person's personality. think about it, we can equate life to one big story the most believable story doesnt always win th...