words are your world.

 come to think of it, is there an even more effective mode of human existance, then spending your wee hours in the morning, waking up, and getting right down to writing.

i love writing

i guess

eww

i hate admitting things

but one thing i must admit

is that there is an unshakable wavelength

based around human thought

that is shared by all of those

inhabiting a human body

that allows us

to turn vibrations

into noise

noise into sound

sound into meaning

pleasures, difficulties, transcendence, 

dreams, money, sex, power

praise, buildings, towers,

empires, countries, clans, order

words are how we order things

words are the blueprints of our minds

you can tell everything about a man by the words he uses

how he expresses them

and his response to the inevitable unabiding "no"

i feel as if the greatest piece of advice i have received recently is that words are the person's personality.

think about it, we can equate life to one big story

the most believable story doesnt always win

the most unbelievalbe story doesnt always win

the story that always wins is the story that makes the most amount of sense

the story that fulfills the most amount of needs in the order of being a being in chaos,

there are so many great stories out here, its not enough to have a great story anymore.

you have to have a great story, represented in an outstanding way, that does nothing but showcase its marvelous word of use.

we have to be larger than life, and fulfill whatever audience that we need to have filled, for whatever ever reason.

could be the first and penultimate reason for why any human being has gotten together.

survival

thats a good reason to have a good story to tell

that fulfills some use. Right?

well when we first get on this planet, we are told a story

told a story of how we are on probation

a sort of culinary sampling

of our life, our souls, our psyche.

its put to the test, on trial,

as to see whether or not

we are fit for being a human being.

so the first story we are told is that we are unfit for being the standard human being

the human being most optimally suited for long-standing survival in this harsh detainer world of ours.

that this standard of human being has been the one monumentous and continuous strand of living, impeccable, inordinable, inculpable, ineducable, in any and all ways.

this gold star for human achievement, is unaccessible to those who have any parts that do not correlate with it.

you have a need to express yourself? well it doesnt fit the damn story of humaness

you have a need to ask questions? thats not a part of the standard

you have a need to define the standard?

well don't you fukkin get it you fukkin nigger-loving-faggot-whore-ofabitch.......if we defined the standard of human being, the normal human, then everybody would realize that there is no way for them to ever meet the cut and throw out the use for the :standard deviation" story of human existence!

if we looked at the carrot on the stick ((external validation of an external story given to us by ecxternal sources, from external factors), then we would realize "hey, there is way too much shit for me to keep up with in the first place so let me might as well rebel', or something along those lines.

the ridiculousness of words. All of our lives we are told that if we do not meet the norm our experience as a human being will be cut short.

Not in the sense of lifespan, but in the sense of interaction with other human beings. Nobody fucks with the guy who ponders the polynomicon all day, at least not in public. So when you get to public., its all radars and meters of who still has their ego left in them.

Who still has this story of "im not good enough because i'll never fit in the mold" replaying on loop in their head.

Versus me, a sommnabulist, whose main job is to cut the cord between sleep and wake, and to tell you that there is no story outside of your own, and even then, that shit changes so fast that by the time you put the words down another truer version of you has came to form and made your most pressiing, passionate, and recent archival update and documentation of your existence look like a facetious bearing of cradled-out foreplay.

my main story is to have no story, or a cnotinous stream of collected stories presented in a neautral, and ambiguous way......

but all stories come from words

the words you tell yourself daily, hourly, secondly, every single thought that you and the voice in your head produces is valid, golden, and producing the finest story in all of existence, you.

what is that dialogue in our head? Quite simply, it is God working itself out. The fact that we are consciously aware enough to talk to ourselves, without being aware that we are talking to ourselves, should be a hint as to how powerful we truly are.

think about it. most animals have 0 brain output outside of their basic needs. You never see a cat pondering how the battle of hastings could have changed european history had not William of Normandy became William The Conqueror.

Why? becasue they have no capacity for language out side of theire most innate needs. They are alll used up. And yet and still, we have so much thinking ability that we are unaware that we are even thinking.

breathing,

talikimg,

reading., moving, swaying

experiencing life.

we all have this inner critic inside of our heads

telling us how and why we cant do anything outside of what  we know

we all have this "keeper of our story". this fictitious entity of the mind, which is so powerful that only the words written from its pen of indelible ink can make the canvas on which our story is written and kept.

we all have the gatekeeper, to the tomes of our identity, the core structure of what we perceive ourselves to be.

different names, but i like to call this gatekeeper EGO

ego takes the words that we have clung to the most, as  children, as adults, as beings of light, and they take the emotional content behind those words, to create similar vibrations in our life, whether we know it or not.

ego takes the evidence given to us from the outside world, and crystallizes it to not only our world-view, but our self-view, how we perceive ourselves

most of the time ego is not loving, kind, uplifitng. most of the time, ego separates, kills, destroys, classifies, divides.

the ego wants to feel superior, or inferior in certain ways,  to back up the story it had received when we were little.

most iof the time, when our parents talk, it was in the comparison mode, this, not this, be like this, not this.

but, in real life, there is no comparison mode. there is no preference, because all is forgiven and all is preferred.

but the ego lives in the land of difference, based on negative programming, of the habitual and emotional sort, to help keep the story of the ego going

how we are secretely weak, frail, frauds, who are dishonest, unworthy of living or praise, and cannot make any one we love happy, invcluding ourselves. we are merely helpless victims of a sweeping and unabiding invisible hand that does nothing but feast upon all of the displeasures and disease found in the human experience.

we are merely toys  to be played with. our boundaries do not deserve to be respected, anything we own can be shunted at will, we must put others needs before our own worthless lives.

sacrificing things that our important to us (our health, our sleep, our soul, our sense of love, our hearts) to appease the limited ego-ic views of others, in the fleeting but cruelly unending search for validation outside of ones own discernment, is the leading cause of all neurosis in the natural born world

telling a pig he has to fly can be the worse thing you can do to a pig.

telling a sensitive child to stop crying because its annoying can be extremely detrimental to the growth and development of one's youth.

telling a child to stop using their imagination because you cant even what an imagination feels like to play with anymore has got to be a capital sin, worthy of reprimandation of the utmost corporeal degree.

Words are planted in our head, our story is not our own until we start admitting that the way we view the world is untrue to ourselves

untill we admit that we have been had, and that nothing we believed can be considered 100% true anymore till the day we die, then we will always be under someone else's sovreignty, other than our own.

untill we admit that we can take power over our thoughts, nothing will change

untill we can say enough of the sob story im my own creation, then nothing will ever be about what you want it to be about.

until you change, nothing will......

and it always starts with the words we use.

words are your world.